Why Did I Stop Writing?

Woooooosahhhhhhh! Ok this is what happened. I didn’t stop writing, I actually wrote every night in my journal. Writing actually feels soothing to me, it’s like making love when the pen touches the paper and your hands just glide over as you write (hopeless romantic here lol) Anyways, I just needed a year to be selfish and focus on me #selfishNat. I needed a year to experience life, a year where I didn’t feel guilty saying no to people, events and much more.

I needed to make sure that my cup was full before I ran out to help someone else without being drained. I needed my M.I.A session which included not picking up texts/calls from family/ friends (my squad was not having that).  I needed a year to being fully honest with myself, my mistakes my actions, my failures, my past. I needed a year to fully immerse myself in everything Nat (my spirituality, dance, books, monthly massage session, full on Bob Marley, Daniel Caesar concerts in my room and basement, love,sunflowers everywhere and more). I needed a year to fully speak my mind and communicate my thoughts and feelings. I needed a year to be PROPERLY Dicked Down*  by someone. Thanks 10+” .

Gosh I know, you were not expecting that. This might be new to you, but to close friends I am known as the Queen of TMI  or Ms. Ray Charles to BS.

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But as I was saying, I needed a year to preserve my energy, to live in the moment and a time to plan for the future and I got that and more!

This self discovery I experienced in 2018 was scary. I mean gosh where do I start. I made a commitment to write down what I wanted out of the year which meant working on myself both physically and mentally. So going to the gym 3 times a week was the first task I had to tackle and because my gym was 4 minutes away I had no excuses not to be there. Once that started, it helped me become disciplined in so many areas professionally and mentally.  I mean, who voluntarily wakes up for a 6am gym session to run and do burpees?  On many occasions every time my 5 am alarm rang I felt like throwing up, but I owed myself this consistency and sacrifice so I got up.

I also made it my duty to become debt free and that was a huge check on my bucket list. So now we are investing creating businesses, taking risks and shit.

I took the time to focus on my career as well. Recently got promoted to Senior Recruiter at my firm, exceeding my own expectations and more. I was even was featured on Black Enterprise Magazine giving out tips on how to negotiate salaries.

But most importantly I made it my mission to love myself moreeeeeeeeee. I never really had an issue loving myself but when life hits you with certain individuals and experience that make you DOUBT yourself, it easy to go on into your little corner and question your worth. Yeah Buddy, not happening AGAIN. With that being said: loving myself instantly brought people into my life that SHOWED me the love I always wanted. 

Spiritually, I became more connected to my body and my higher power. And in many instances God tested me and I did not like it. For example, the guy that checked every box on my list, and then when he saw me prayed over my food looked at me like I had 2 heads. Yeahhhh about that… I respect your decision but we can’t be more than friends Friend. 🙂

Also, I started something at the end of the year where everyday I wrote down 5 things for which I was Grateful. This little task quickly reminded how blessed I was. In addition to that, ssomeone made me realize how wealthy I am. They told me “ you know you’re worth more than 4 million dollars?” A bit puzzled at the statement I said “what do you mean?” he said “Your heart is valued at 1.4MM, your lungs $400,000 and so forth. So Madame, know your worth and take care of your body Ok.” Check it yourself

So, I know you signed up for a career oriented blog and here I am divulging my personal life and all. I spent the past 4 years interviewing professionals about their lives and careers, and last year I  decided to turn the mic on myself. With that being said, there isn’t a word or a thing that you can tell me about myself that I don’t already know; the good and the bad habits.

So here’s to taking Ginger/ Celery juice shots! To Loving and Forgiving. Growing Financially, Dancing like no one is watching, Having Breakfast at Soho House and running naked in The Hampton’s! Here’s to Living.

Welcome to my Freshman year of Life2.0

PS. Shout out to my tribe, my group chats for being a listneing ear, a shoulder to cry on and a supportive loving family and calling me out on my BS. I love you!<3