Woooooosahhhhhhh! Ok this is what happened. I didn’t stop writing, I wrote every night in my journal. Writing is soothing to me, it’s like making love when the pen touches the paper and your hands just glide over as you write (hopeless romantic here lol). Anyways, I just needed a year to be selfish and focus on me #selfishNat. I needed a year to experience life, a year where I didn’t feel guilty saying no to people, events and much more.
I needed to make sure that my cup was full before I ran out to help someone else without being drained. I needed my M.I.A session which included not picking up texts/calls from family/ friends (my squad was not having that). I needed a year to being fully honest with myself, my mistakes my actions, my failures, my past. I needed a year to fully immerse myself in everything Nat (my spirituality, dance, books, monthly massage session, full on Bob Marley, Daniel Caesar, Kompa concerts in my room, love,sunflowers everywhere and more). I needed a year to fully speak my mind and communicate my thoughts and feelings. I needed a year to be PROPERLY Dicked Down* by someone .
Gosh I know, you were not expecting that. This might be new to you, but to close friends I am known as the Queen of TMI or Ms. Ray Charles to BS.
But as I was saying, I needed a year to preserve my energy, to live in the moment and a time to plan for the future and I got that and more!
This self discovery I experienced in 2018 was scary. I mean gosh where do I start. I wrote down what I wanted out of the year which meant working on myself both physically and mentally. So going to the gym 3 times a week was the first task I had to tackle, and because my gym was 4 minutes away I had no excuses not to be there.
Once that started, it helped me become disciplined in so many areas of my life; professionally and mentally. I mean, who voluntarily wakes up for a 6 am gym session to run and do burpees? On many occasions every time my 5 am alarm rang I felt like throwing up, but I owed myself this consistency and sacrifice so I got up.
I also made it my duty to become financially educated and that was a huge check on my bucket list. So now we are investing, taking risks and shit.
I took the time to focus on my career as well. Recently got promoted to Senior Recruiter at my firm, exceeding my own expectations and more. I was even was featured on Black Enterprise Magazine giving out tips on how to negotiate salaries.
But most importantly I made it my mission to love myself moreeeeeeeeee. I never really had an issue loving myself but when life hits you with individuals and experiences that make you DOUBT yourself, it easy to go on into your little corner and question your worth. Yeah Buddy, not happening AGAIN. With that being said: loving myself instantly brought people into my life that SHOWED me the love I always wanted and deserved.
Spiritually, I became more connected to my body and my higher self. And in many instances God tested me and I did not like it.
Also, I started writing down five things I was grateful for every day. This little task quickly reminded me of how blessed I was. In addition to that, one night after a long day of work, I found myself in a deep conversation with my Uber driver… go figure. He made me realize how wealthy I am to be alive. He told me “Madame, you know you’re worth more than 4 million dollars?… your heart is valued at 1.4MM, your lungs $400,000, and so forth. So Madame, know your worth and take care of your body.” A bit puzzled by his statement, I went on to find an article explaining the prices of human organs and was in disbelief. Check it out yourself
So, I know you signed up for a career-oriented blog and here I am divulging my personal life and all. I spent the past 4 years interviewing professionals about their lives and careers, and last year I decided to turn the mic on myself. With that being said, there isn’t a word or a thing that you can tell me about myself that I don’t already know; the good and the bad habits.
So cheers to loving and forgiving. To growing financially and dancing like no one is watching, to having breakfast at Soho House and running naked in The Hampton’s! Cheers to living.
Welcome to my Freshman year of Life2.0
PS. Shout out to my tribe, my group chats for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a supportive loving family and calling me out on my BS. I love you!<3