Why Did I Stop Writing?

Woooooosahhhhhhh! Ok this is what happened. I didn’t stop writing, I wrote every night in my journal. Writing is soothing to me, it’s like making love when the pen touches the paper and your hands just glide over as you write (hopeless romantic here lol). Anyways, I just needed a year to be selfish and focus on me #selfishNat. I needed a year to experience life, a year where I didn’t feel guilty saying no to people, events and much more.

I needed to make sure that my cup was full before I ran out to help someone else without being drained. I needed my M.I.A session which included not picking up texts/calls from family/ friends (my squad was not having that). I needed a year to being fully honest with myself, my mistakes my actions, my failures, my past. I needed a year to fully immerse myself in everything Nat (my spirituality, dance, books, monthly massage session, full on Bob Marley, Daniel Caesar, Kompa concerts in my room, love,sunflowers everywhere and more). I needed a year to fully speak my mind and communicate my thoughts and feelings. I needed a year to be PROPERLY Dicked Down* by someone .

Gosh I know, you were not expecting that. This might be new to you, but to close friends I am known as the Queen of TMI  or Ms. Ray Charles to BS.

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But as I was saying, I needed a year to preserve my energy, to live in the moment and a time to plan for the future and I got that and more!

This self discovery I experienced in 2018 was scary. I mean gosh where do I start. I wrote down what I wanted out of the year which meant working on myself both physically and mentally. So going to the gym 3 times a week was the first task I had to tackle, and because my gym was 4 minutes away I had no excuses not to be there.
Once that started, it helped me become disciplined in so many areas of my life; professionally and mentally. I mean, who voluntarily wakes up for a 6 am gym session to run and do burpees? On many occasions every time my 5 am alarm rang I felt like throwing up, but I owed myself this consistency and sacrifice so I got up.

I also made it my duty to become financially educated and that was a huge check on my bucket list. So now we are investing, taking risks and shit.

I took the time to focus on my career as well. Recently got promoted to Senior Recruiter at my firm, exceeding my own expectations and more. I was even was featured on Black Enterprise Magazine giving out tips on how to negotiate salaries.

But most importantly I made it my mission to love myself moreeeeeeeeee. I never really had an issue loving myself but when life hits you with individuals and experiences that make you DOUBT yourself, it easy to go on into your little corner and question your worth. Yeah Buddy, not happening AGAIN. With that being said: loving myself instantly brought people into my life that SHOWED me the love I always wanted and deserved.

Spiritually, I became more connected to my body and my higher self. And in many instances God tested me and I did not like it.

Also, I started writing down five things I was grateful for every day. This little task quickly reminded me of how blessed I was. In addition to that, one night after a long day of work, I found myself in a deep conversation with my Uber driver… go figure. He made me realize how wealthy I am to be alive. He told me “Madame, you know you’re worth more than 4 million dollars?… your heart is valued at 1.4MM, your lungs $400,000, and so forth. So Madame, know your worth and take care of your body.” A bit puzzled by his statement, I went on to find an article explaining the prices of human organs and was in disbelief.  Check it out yourself

So, I know you signed up for a career-oriented blog and here I am divulging my personal life and all. I spent the past 4 years interviewing professionals about their lives and careers, and last year I  decided to turn the mic on myself. With that being said, there isn’t a word or a thing that you can tell me about myself that I don’t already know; the good and the bad habits.

So cheers to loving and forgiving. To growing financially and dancing like no one is watching, to having breakfast at Soho House and running naked in The Hampton’s! Cheers to living.

Welcome to my Freshman year of Life2.0

PS. Shout out to my tribe, my group chats for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a supportive loving family and calling me out on my BS. I love you!<3

Here’s How Danielle Fontus is Helping Women Live a Daring Life

In light of women’s history month, I wanted to shed light on an amazing individual who created a platform for women to lives their best social life. Danielle Fontus is the creator of She Dares, a women’s adventure community, where she helps women step outside of their comfort zones through experiences, from happy hour to horseback riding. Let’s find out more about Dani!

Tell me about yourself 

I may have also been spotted in a few adventures myself like Carnival in Trinidad and jet skiing in Tobago. I love to travel, eat, dance, play and indulge in whatever tickles my fancy.

Since graduating from Emory University in 2007, I have found a home in hospitality. I am now transitioning into the area of retreat planning while building my personal brand as an adventure influence.

Where were you 6 months after graduation?

I graduated on May 14, 2007 and started a job at a tutoring center in September thanks to a friend. It seemed like a good idea – I went to school with the intention of being a child psychologist. So the position made sense. For my first job, it was decent. I lived at home with my mom, and my loans were in deferment, so bills were minimal. In some ways, I was living my own piece of the post college dream. Yet there was a little piece inside of me that was restless and unsatisfied. I didn’t LOVE what I was doing, and I was craving more and starting to feel stifled. Come November 2007 (6 months after graduation), I was trying to figure out how to get out of my job and didn’t have a plan for what was next.

Fast forward to December 2007, I was laid off because the company downsized, which was such a serendipitous blessing for me. At the beginning of 2008 I spent 6 weeks in Trinidad that absolutely changed my life.

What prompted you to start She Dares?

During my time in Trinidad, I was so awestruck that I really wanted to share it with those who had never experienced anything like it. That year I started Her Journey travel magazine, which was an enhanced rebirth of the newsletter I used to send to my college friends to motivate us through those days when college life got real.
After doing that for a while, I wanted to CREATE these experiences instead of just writing about them. After doing a lot of these experiences alone, I realized that I wanted to find more daring women like me, I created She Dares to help form genuine connections in the best way I know how through fun and adventure. I LOVE meeting new people and finding out about them and I LOVE a good adventure. Putting those two things together, She Dares was born.

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5 Valuable Lessons from The Three Doctors Foundation Mentor Day

14372051_10153654882651582_1012988330988310449_oAs you probably know by now, my heart is  deeply rooted in helping others. Moving in the states at the age of 12 age, it was strangers that helped me accommodate to my new lifestyle but also helped in regards to pursuing a higher education. This is why whenever I can share information or help  others, I DO IT!

So of course, when my friend reached out to me to become a mentor for a day at the Three Doctors Foundation, I didn’t think twice about it and boy was I glad I got the invitation.  Here I was surrounded by individuals who had questions regarding college, finding their passion and  much more.

14444657_10153654868291582_3150717928921343090_oAlthough my job was to teach my group about my college and career track, by the end of the day , I was the one that walked out with valuable lessons. As my youngest mentee, a six grader told me  “Don’t let fear  stop you from living, go and ride  Kingda Ka.” * he doesn’t know how bad I hate roller coasters* face palm, but I might give it a try this year.

Here are 5 valuable lessons that I learned during my mentorship day.

  1. Impossible means “I’m Possible”
  2. Don’t take challenges personally.
  3. Don’t indict yourself based on your shortcomings.
  4. Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you.
  5. Don’t let fear  stop you from living.

Save the Date for the next event!

The Three Doctors Foundation Holiday Health Basketball Benefit/Toys for Teens at Edison Job Corps in Edison, NJ; 1-3pm.